nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize