Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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