Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize