id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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