this beer tastes like vomit already
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
