take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
