the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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