it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
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Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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