He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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