They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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