I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize