So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
birth control should be required to get into college
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
