....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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