I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
