He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
