What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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