Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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