one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You ruined the universe
Randomize
