You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He kissed a someone with a penis
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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