My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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