He passed out mid-signature
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
