Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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