Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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