you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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