thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
