He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
