OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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