Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
