i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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