I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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