Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
