please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize