well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
