I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
