please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
