Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
