apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
