dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
