wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
