Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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They took my balls.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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