dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
