Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
