the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize