she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ladies don't puke and tell
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
