As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
