My sheets look like a crime scene.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
