32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
