i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
