So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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