idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
