I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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