New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You don't make any sense
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