And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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