my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i will never coherently bang her
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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