Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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