areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
