I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
