I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
