we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
