So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
