ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
