could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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