so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
