Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
